The Goodness of Caring

[updated] It has been 36 years since I married a nice fellow named Arden. It’s been 30 years since we divorced for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I came out as a lesbian. Soon after, I moved 750 miles from Michigan to Kansas. We fell out of touch. Since I left Michigan, I hadn’t even talked to him until I tracked him down last year to get help with a rather picky government form.

Yesterday I got an email from Arden, telling me that a college friend, Susan Ager,* had fallen ill with cancer. Arden is one of the few people in the world who would even know how much I enjoyed this old friend’s company.

Because of his email, I reconnected with Susan and discovered, much to my delight, that her cancer is now in remission. The doctors have even used the other “c” word — “cured” — with her. Because Arden reached out to me, I’ve exchanged excited emails with Susan, and we’ve begun planning a face-to-face reunion.

None of this would have happened if someone who has every right to hate my guts hadn’t cared about me and reached out. This is too cool for words, and it is the heart of goodness.

Thank you, Arden.

*By the way, Susan’s article about her illness, “A Close Brush with Cancer,” is amazing.

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3 Responses to The Goodness of Caring

  1. KJ says:

    This is a great reminder that everything is possible. So glad you’re reconnecting with your friend!

  2. Mike Hess says:

    Just finished “Was My Father Evil?”. I thought it was a wonderful piece of writing. The Progressive will be delivered to me until January 2017 with my Mother’s name on the label. She died five years ago but before that she badgered us to keep sending more money off so her subscription wouldn’t expire. She and I didn’t agree on many things before she died, but when her magazine comes I scan it and read a few things and remember her. A high school English teacher who retired after 43 years, she would have loved “Was My Father Evil?”. I appreciate her gift of introducing me to you. I think most of us spend our lives struggling to figure out how to be good with our children. Regards, Mike Hess

  3. dianesilver says:

    Mike – Thank you so much for visiting my blog and commenting. What sweet words! I really appreciate them, and your mother. A good English teacher is a gem. As a mother myself, I also understand how hard it is to be a parent. I don’t forgive abuse, but I do understand. Take care.

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